Self-love Saturdays

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was about four years-old, my mother, father and brother all got very sick and I somehow stayed healthy. I was told that I took care of them, feeding them all the only thing I knew how to make at the time— Cheerios and milk.

I still want to take care of most everyone around me. Even if I am sick., when I allow myself to be sick. The main difference now is that I also want to take care of myself. I am also in the room. I exist and I matter. And I don’t feed anyone I know Cheerios and milk anymore:)

There are four stress responses that we know of — flight, flight, freeze… and fawn. I was a fawner, a people pleaser, and a co-dependent without knowing it.

As part of my waking up and recovery, I understand now that it is ok to take care of others. As long as I take care of myself, too. You see, most of the time, I didn’t know I was even in the room, until I shook or exploded and then everyone would run away from me, including myself.